You’re probably wondering about the mess. First of all, the red stuff is goat blood. When you live on a farm you have access to this kind of thing. I did not even have to kill the goat. At least, she seemed alive when I left her. You might also notice some kitty litter and ripped up newspaper. These I bought at the local drugstore; we do not have cats on the farm.
What do we have on the farm, you might ask — besides a bleeding goat, that is. Well, we have chores. “Slopping” is one of our chores. There is also “gutting.” And “blutting.” You do not want to know what “blutting” is. I’m not sure if this is a normal type of farm, but if so I would urge you to think twice every time you buy produce.
I know you sent me here so that I could “shape up,” and I guess you could say I’ve been doing that. I have learned a lot from the other kids here. I have, for instance, mastered many techniques of burning, branding, and flaying. You’ll notice I didn’t employ any of these techniques on our/your house this time around. I am saving them.
I hope you and Janie and Christian are doing well. I know that you would never send them away like you sent me, but if you do, I think you should consider a different farm, or perhaps a different type of shaping-up place altogether. I do not think Janie and Christian would do well here. I will not tell you specifically what has happened to the kids who are more “polite” or “well-behaved,” but I will say that these qualities seem to be valued less here than they apparently were at our/your home.
Actually I am glad to have found a place where qualities that come more naturally to me are valued and even celebrated, at least by my peers. The people in charge here, of course, have views more similar to yours. This is why I have had to leave. I have, however, had the chance to build up an extended network of like-minded people who have promised to aid me in my future endeavors. So thank you for providing me with this opportunity, and thank you, too, for all of the things you always said I should be grateful for. I can’t remember what they are just now, but I’m sure you do, and I’m sure they will be a great comfort to you in the months and years ahead.
Hope you’re enjoying this nice weather,
Spanky